Restful Renewing

I find myself in a place that i haven't been in a long time.  A season that has long been forgotten.  For several years i have been consistently serving in ministry right along side Brandon.  We have done it all together.  Wednesday night services, meetings, camps, retreats, events,etc.  My life was so busy pouring into others and doing "ministry" that I allowed myself to slowly slip into a place of spiritual emptiness.  At the end of that season I had nothing left to give.  I had begun to put ministry and the call on my life above spending time with the One who placed the call on my life in the first place.  I was giving out more and more and not returning to the well for refilling.  I was trying to survive on old manna.  My foundation was cracking and then my world began to shake.

A little over a year ago, God called our family to South Carolina to take part in a church plant with some friends of ours.  I was excited for the things God had for us here and was ready for a change.  After moving here though I found myself in a place of questioning God.  Asking him why he brought us here.  What was the point?  It didn't look the way I was used to.  Everything was different and I wasn't okay with it.  What I should have done was seek the Lord for peace and guidance but what I did was again turned to busying myself with ministry.  I quickly jumped into the lifestyle that had already left my empty.  Not only that but I was doing it all without a clear vision.  I was doing it just to do it because it was comfortable.  At the time it was my safe place.  A sense of security in a time total transition.  But through it all I still had an unsettling feeling.  Like I was wandering through the desert without any direction and I was miserable.  Thank God that even in that place he was still willing to meet with me.  He was reaching out but I was refusing come close.  Instead of embracing the changes he was presenting me with I clung to what I had left behind in Colorado.  That was truly home and this place was just a temporary living arrangement.  I began to become discontent and I distanced myself from all the people God had surrounded us with.  I had hardened my heart to anything they would try to say or do for us.  They were are just weird and different in my mind so therefore I wasn't going to allow them to speak anything into my heart.  And still, God kept tugging and I kept pushing back.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend a women's retreat.  I really didn't want to go but my friend Carolyn insisted that I go, so with a sigh I agreed.  Before going I had resolved in my mind that there was nothing these women could teach me.  Looking back I had actually hardened my heart to anything that God wanted to do in me that weekend.   Praise God that He loves me enough to not let that happen.  He quickly softened my heart and met me in the place of worship.  He ministered to me and breathed new life into my empty soul. He showed me that I was hanging on to the past.  I needed to let go and allow him to work in this new season.  There are great things he has planned in my life but right now he needs me here to teach me.  To speak new vision and refine my calling.  In the busyness I had brought to my life I had lost sight of the importance of the restful, quiet times when God would speak to my heart.  In His complete goodness and love for me, he has brought me back to that place.  In the times when I felt abandoned he never left.  The truth was that I had walked away from that place but He never did.  He was there all along calling out and patiently waiting for me to return.

I truly believe that this season is my season of restful renewing.  This morning I was doing my bible study and this verse stuck out to me.  Almost like God has written it just for me in that moment for this time.

Matthew 11:28-30 "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.  LET ME TEACH YOU because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

In my quiet time I could hear the voice of God speak to my heart. "Jacqueline, come to me.  Rest in me.  Allow me to give you new life.  Let me teach you!  I want to grow you.  I have a great plan for you.  Come and reconnect with me!"  My heart was overwhelmed.  I knew it was a word straight from God. He was calling me back to the secret place.  He had never left but had been waiting for me this whole time.  I know that God has a big plan for my life and I have a call to ministry and to lead. He wants to build me.  He was calling out and now I am answering.  I am choosing to take this time to rest in the Lord.  To allow him to fill my cup to overflowing.  He has my future planned out.  I am thankful for the past and all that it brought and I am looking forward to the future but right now my heart is content to rest!

Complaining in the Wilderness

^{Exodus 15:22-27}

²² Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water. ²³ When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. (That is why the place is called Marah.^[a])²⁴ So the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What are we to drink?”

²⁵ Then Moses cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became fit to drink.

There the Lord issued a ruling and instruction for them and put them to the test. ²⁶ He said, “If you listen carefully to the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.”

²⁷ Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve springs and seventy palm trees, and they camped there near the water. 

Yesterday I read Exodus 15:22-27 and God spoke some things to me that I wanted to make sure to write down and share.  To preface this passage, the Israelites had just escaped the Egyptians, crossed the Red Sea and watched as God defeated their enemies.  Moses led them in praise to God and now they have been wandering in the desert for three days.  They haven't found water and naturally they are all thirsty.  After three days they come across an oasis in Marah but the water was too bitter to drink. And with the same mouths they had just praised God with, they began to complain.  The Bible says that they "grumbled against Moses".  Moses, instead of turning against those he was leading or complaining to God he simply came to God with a request.  This is the first "nugget" that God showed me.  God doesn't want us to come to him with complaints but simply with our requests.  All he wants is for us to ask.  Jude is only 15 months and he is starting to learn how to communicate with us.  This is a frustrating task for both him and I because he knows what he wants but lacks the vocabulary to voice it.  He often resorts to screaming at me not only out of frustration but also in hopes that I will understand what he needs.  I have been working with him on words and signs for things so that he can better communicate his needs to me without constantly screaming.  I feel like that is the place I sometimes find myself with God.  Instead of communicating what my needs are I resort to complaining.  Just like the Israelites did when they found themselves in need of drinkable water.  But Moses came before God on their behalf and made the request known.  "What are we to drink?"  That leads me to the second nugget.  Simply ask God.  He does care and he does hear our requests.  He answered Moses and told him to throw the piece of wood in the water and it would become fit to drink.  God answered and the people had water to drink.  In verse 27 we see that they were later led to and oasis in Elim where there was plenty of water and resting places for the whole group.  This is the final point.  God will answer.  I truly don't believe that God wanted his people to die of thirst.  He was willing and ready to answer he just needed them to ask.  God provided for his people then and he continues to do so today.  God wants to answer we just have to stop complaining and start asking.

The New Adventures of Peanut Butter & Jelly

In case some of you don't already know, we MOVED!!!!!  We've been here for almost 2 weeks now and I just feel so blessed.  A lot has been going on and in every situation we have seen God move.  When we arrived here two weeks ago with an amazing town home in a beautiful area and without jobs.  Thankfully God is watching over us.  He provided a job for Brandon with a landscaping company and I got a job as a nanny for a little girl who is 1 month older than Jude.  Brandon started his job this past Monday and he seems to enjoy it.  He works Monday thru Friday from 7 to 4.  It's only a mile from our house so I take him to work in the morning and pick him up when he gets off.  It's been nice to have him home at 4.  It makes my days seem shorter and we still have time to spend together as a family.  I start my new job on Monday.  I will work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 7:30 to 5:30.  It's for one little girl and her parents are bringing her to my house so I can stay at home with Jude.  I couldn't ask for anything better.

My mom was here for our first week and a half.  It was so amazing to have her around.  I feel like it made my transition so much easier.  She was a huge help with Jude and having her here allowed Brandon and me to unpack a lot faster than if we had to watch Jude as well.  We went on so many adventures while she was here.  We explored all of Downtown Charleston, went to the aquarium, saw Old Town Mt. Pleasant, checked out the local beaches and ate at a few local seafood places.  Having her here was great but it was so hard to say goodbye.  Her leaving really made our move more of a reality to me.

Things with the church are going great.  We are having our first Easter Service this Sunday and we are all very excited.  I have been planning some fun activities for the children's ministry.  It's going to be so much fun.  The families at the church have been so welcoming to us.  I am so excited to see what God is going to do through Declaration Church.  I truly feel so blessed and honored to be apart of what God is doing in Mt Pleasant.  Hopefully I will be able to keep you all updated.  Thank goodness for Facebook, Blogger and Instagram!

While I didn't vote for the guy who won nor do I agree with a lot of what he plans to do, my heart is saddened by those around me who have had nothing but negative things to say.  I don't agree with what our new President has planned or with what he has done in the past.  I don't know if we can truly stand on what President Obama promises but I do know, without a doubt, that I can stand on what God's word says.  His word tells us that we are to honor those that are in authority even when we don't "like" them or we didn't vote for them.  God also tells us that no matter who is chosen as leader of our great nation, God is leader over all.  He is in control of everything.  He watches over and protects His people.  We just need to trust Him and seek His will.  Even when the world around us seems hopeless and all seems lost, God can still move.  2 Chronicles 7:14 says, "Then if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land."  As His people, if we continue to pray and pursue Him, God can move in our country.  Even when our leaders do things that don't seem right, that doesn't mean that God can't change their hearts and use them for His glory.  As believers, we are supposed to pray for others, especially our leaders.  1 Timothy 2:1-4 says, "I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people.  Ask God to help them: intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them.  Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.  This is good and pleases God our savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth".  I don't know for sure whether President Obama is a God-Fearing man, but I do know that the last thing he needs is more people against him.  What he does need is more of God's people rising up in prayer for him and his family.  Praying that he would allow God to guide his path as he leads our entire country.  So rather than complain about an outcome that I have no control over, I am going to do the one thing that I can do.  I am going to continue to pray and trust that God knows what He is doing.  He is in control and He is the one I trust in.

Psalms 91:2 "This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I trust Him."

Over the last month God has really shown me how much he watches over us.  He has blessed us so much in that last month and as each day passes I can see how each step of His plan has been so perfectly put together.  I am so amazed by His love.  

In the last month we have moved out of our townhouse and in with Brandon's parents.  We are planning on moving to South Carolina in March and so now we are kind of in a waiting phase.  The slow pace is very nice right now.  It has been such a blessing to really be able to spend time with our families and each other.  My older sister Stefanie and niece Randi are in town from Saudi Arabia and I have just been enjoying every moment with them.  I can't wait for the next chapter God has for our family but at the same time I am just enjoying the place we are in now.  

Jude is getting so big.  On Thursday my little guy is going to be 6 months old!  I am still in awe that he is actually here.  This month we have gone to the aquarium twice and a pumpkin patch for the first time as well as the Zoo.  Jude also got to celebrate his first halloween.  Our family dressed as monkeys and we attended the Family Fun Night.  It was so much fun.  I feel so honored that God has entrusted me with such an amazing little boy.  He such a blessing and I can't imagine what my life would be like without him.

The Adventure is Moving South

We are moving!!!!  It's official.  In March we will be moving out little family across the country to Mount Pleasant, SC.  Some very good friends of ours came to us a few months ago and asked if we would pray about moving with them to start a church.  I admit that at first I just said no thank you and didn't even give it much thought but after a long month of prayer I knew God was calling our family to move.  It's always amazing to me how God moves.  Once I finally told God I was willing to go he really began to make things happen.  Our lease on our town home wasn't up until February but literally 3 days after telling God I would go, an old family friend said he was interested in it.  They are now moving into our town home today allowing Brandon, Jude and me to move in with his family for a few months to save money and pay off some debt before we move.  Along with all the moving we have been doing over the past month, Brandon resigned from his position at the High School Youth Pastor at  The Rock.  He preached his last message on Wednesday and then next week will be our very last Wednesday.  It's hard to say goodbye to the students that we love so very much.  They mean so much to us.  We have been apart of this youth ministry since we were students ourselves.  It's a bittersweet feeling.  I am sad to go and leave everything behind but I am also very excited for all that God is going to do in our family and in the people of Mount Pleasant.  In Isaiah 43:18 & 19 it says, "But forget all that - it is nothing compared to what I am going do.  For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun!  Do you not see it?  I will make a pathway through the wilderness.  I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."  I know that God is starting to do something amazing.  I have already seen God move in our lives in so many ways.  The hard part is learning to trust him when it starts to get hard.  To continue to pursue Him and His plan for us when all I can see is what we are leaving behind.  I know he has great plans for our family.  This transition has really challenged me to spend more time with God and to really seek His face.  I am so excited to see God move and to see his plan unfold as we take each step.

Our little guy is already 2 months old and is getting bigger everyday!  In the last month he has had a lot of first time adventures.  He went to Estes Park with us for youth camp, has been to the Melting Pot and has been to his first Rockies game with his friend Madison.  There have been some not so fun firsts too like getting pink eye for the first time.  He is starting to talk a lot more and for being a little guy he sure does have a lot to say.  He definitely keeps me busy throughout the day.  At his 2 month check-up he weighed 12 pounds and was 24 inches long.

As for me, I am enjoying my last week and a half before I go back to work.  It has been great having the whole summer off and I have enjoyed every minute I got to spend with Jude.  The good thing is that I am nannying for some really good friends of our and Jude gets to go with me so I won't have to leave him with anyone.  Looking back to where we were just a year ago I can't help but feel so blessed by everything that God has done for our family.  We have gone through tremendous change in a year.  Sometimes it was scary and sometime it was fun but God took care of us each step of the way.  It makes me so excited for all the changes that God will have for us in the future!

Life has been really good at the Yates household.  Our little guy is now 1 month old.  We are starting to get into a new "normal".  He has truly blessed our lives so much.  There are still times when I look at him and can't believe that he is really here.  He is getting bigger every day.  We took his 1 month picture on Friday and he was able to hold his head up on his own. He has even found a way to roll over on to his side.  It freaked me out the first time but now I am just impressed at how much he is learning and how strong he gets every single day.  Everytime I hold him it feels just like the first time.  This month we are also celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary, Brandon's first Father's Day, my 25th birthday and Brandon's 27th birthday.  I still have a month and a half of maternity leave before I go back to work and I am enjoying every single day of it.  It amazes me that before Jude was here I couldn't imagine what our life would be like with him and now I couldn't picture our life any other way.  We are so in love with him.  

The New Adventures of Peanut Butter & Jelly

On Tuesday, May 8th at 2:08PM our lives were forever changed by the arrival of our beautiful son, Jude Michael Yates.  I never imagined that I could have so much love for anyone until the moment I met my son for the very first time.  He is so much more than I could ever have imagined and I am just overwhelmed with love for him.  Jude has only been here for 1 week and already I see him changing and growing.  I take in every little breath, every smile and every little whimper.  We have been so blessed by our little man look forward to every moment we get to spend with him.  We couldn't be happier!!!!!

To My Son

To My Precious Little One, 

As I patiently wait your grand arrival into our lives I can't help but to think over the past year and 9 months.  I am reminded of the countless prayers.  The conversations I would had with God asking him to give me a child.  The nights that I would cry thinking it would never happen and then a promise that I help on to for so long.  I remember the night I dreamt of you and knew that it was from the Lord.  That is was a promise to me that one day I would see your face and hold you in my arms.  I knew that one day I would be blessed with one of life's greatest gifts.  I remember praying over you even before you were conceived knowing that even then God had a great plan for your life.  And now, after months of preparation and lots of prayer, I sit, patiently awaiting your arrival.  Awaiting the moment when my life will forever be changed.  When I can hold you close and tell you how I have waited for you.  How I love you so much.  How you are an answer to my prayers.  My little Jude, I already love you more than words can express.  I am excited for the new adventure that you will bring to our lives.  Always remember that we love you so much but more importantly, that God loves you so much more than we ever could and he has set you apart for greater things.  You have been called and chosen for something great.  Never turn away from God and he will continue to make your path straight.  I love you and I can't wait to meet you.  

"I prayed for this child and the Lord granted me what I asked of Him" 1 Samuel 1:27

What's In Your Bag?

I, like most women, carry my purse with me everywhere I go. It holds everything I need to get through each day. My wallet, cell phone, car keys, lotion, hand sanitizer, pens, check book and other miscellaneous items. I probably do carry around a lot of unnecessary items but they are all things that I feel I cannot live without. I would be so lost without any of the items I put in there, but in reality my well being is not dependent on the items I carry in my purse.

I just recently learned about a group of women in Uganda that also carry a bag around with them. They too carry around a lot of items in their bags. The difference between my bag and theirs is that within their bags, they really do carry items that can mean life or death for a person. Many families in their surrounding are so desperate for what these women carry around but they cannot afford to obtain these items for themselves. So, who are these women and what is it they carry with them?

Uganda's poor recount how Living Goods has changed their lives and improved their health. from Living Goods on Vimeo.

These women belong to an organization called Living Goods. They are the 639 female leaders that make up the Community Health Care Promoters team. And what is it they carry around. Some of the items are: 1) Household water filtration kit 2) Malaria nets 3) Solar lanterns 4) Medicines: cough syrup, amoxicillan, malaria treatments, deworming pills, vitamin A 5)Mama Kits: bedsheets, rubber gloves, antiseptic and a razor blade to cut the umbilical cord.

Living Goods is an organization that is recruiting and training female leaders to become Community Health Care Promoters (CHPs) in their local communities. These women earn an income selling affordable health care products. Every minute, 3 children die because they lack access to simple medicines that cost less than a cup of coffee. Living Goods is working to put a stop to this. They currently have 639 CHPs in Uganda caring for approximately 700 people. They also make house calls to pregnant mothers and small children. Their goal is to have 5,000 women across multiple countries in the next 5 years. This would allow them to care for approximately 3 million people. The CHPs not only care for the families and sell them affordable medical supplies, they also educate them on health care basics like washing your hands. They are making an impact in their surrounding areas and, with your help, can one day make an impact on the world. How can you help?

The Adventure Project is teaming up with Living Goods and helping them raise money to train new CHPs and provide them with their own supply bags. They are selling these very cute bags to help Living Goods accomplish their goal. I just ordered mine today and I can't wait for it to arrive! It's my way of giving back. So what are you waiting for? Check out The Adventure Projects website ( http://theadventureproject.org/ ) and get informed. Also, don't forget to spread the word!

Moving On......

I feel as if now is a good time to update everyone on all of the changes going on in our lives. It really has been an adventure but through it all God has once again reminded us of how great He is and how much He truly loves us.

To start out, there have been a lot of changes in the youth ministry. We have hired a new middle school director, Andrew. He is totally awesome and loves youth. He is a friend of Nathan and Brooke's from Texas. He is just graduated from Christ for the Nations and we are really excited to welcome him to our team. With Andrew joining us, Brandon and I are moving from middle school to high school. This is an exciting and challenging change for Brandon and me. I know for me personally this transition has been challenging me more to seek out my role in the ministry and to really develop myself more as a leader. During my quiet times with God, He has really begun to speak to me and give both Brandon and me direction in our next step.

With the changes in the youth ministry, we have been going through a transition in our home. Last Monday morning I met with my boss and resigned from job at Shur Sales & Marketing. After much prayer and thought, Brandon and I both decided that it was time for me to move on. I really wanted to have more time to spend in the youth ministry and I really felt God tugging on my heart to take this step. Coming to this decision was a huge test of trust for me. I knew it was something that I needed to do but from a financial aspect it really didn't make much sense. I really fought God but in the end it really came down to how much I truly trust Him to provide. And he really did!

Which leads me to the other change. As I am writing this I have goosebumps. God totally provided for our family. Within a week of giving my 2 weeks notice, I found and awesome job with perfect hours. I will be a nanny for a family I just met. They have 2 very sweet children ( a girl and a boy). Along with that, a good friend of ours offered me a job helping with his web design company. I can't even expressed how overwhelmed by God's goodness I am right now. I don't thing I have fully taken it all in yet. It still feels like a dream.

Our final transition (for now) is that Brandon is going back to school. I am very excited about this as I know he is too. He will be attending the The Rock School of Ministry starting in September. I am so proud of him! I know he is so excited to go back to school. It has been something that he has talked about and dreamed about for a while and now he actually gets to do it.

All of changes and decisions did not come easy. Looking back to the beginning of all of this, there have been so many prayers and tears over the past few months. Our lives have truly been an adventure. Change is both sad, scary and exciting all at the same time but I am so glad that God knows more than I do. My old youth pastor said something once that has really engraved itself in my heart. The Bible tells us that God is the lamp at our feet. David (my old youth pastor) explained it this way. If you think about a lamp, it only lights up a few steps. It doesn't necessarily light up the whole road. You may not be able to see the end of the road but sometimes those first few steps are all you need to see. As you take each step, another one is revealed. I know the desires and passions that God has placed in my heart. I know what He has called me to but at times its scary to take just that one step that He has revealed because I can't see the end. Each step has its own trials, challenges and scary moments but I have found that after taking each step, my reasons that were holding me back seem so small and unimportant. I end up with a stronger faith and things become more clear. As long as I continue to trust Him to be my lamp, and I keep moving forward, He will always show Himself to be faithful. He is always watching out for me and He always makes things work together for my good. He loves me. Even if I take a step in the wrong direction, He is there to guide me back to the right path.

"This I declare about the Lord; He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him" - Psalm 91:2

WORLD WATER DAY 2011: TypeTAP

Have you ever thought how simple water is? How easy it is for you to go to the sink and fill up a glass of cold, clean water? Have you ever thought about the millions of people who don't share that same luxury? Well, they are out there and many of them are dying due to diseases caused by unclean drinking water.

The Middle Schooler at our church have seen this need and have decided to team up with The Adventure Project to help fix this problem. They have not only raised $1000 in 2 months, but they have been and ispiration in our church. I am in awe of how the "tweens" have stepped up to the challenge and realize that they can make a difference. They are changing the lives of people in India who they will never meet and you can too!

Since today is World Water Day, The Adventure Project has set a goal of rasing $10,000 to aid in bringing clean water to the people of India. If you would like to help them make a difference click here and make a donation today or you can click here to purchase a bar of soap. All proceeds will go to help bring clean water to villages in India.

Thank you all so much for your support and for caring for the "least of these". Happy World Water Day!!!!!

Footprints In The Sand

This week has been a very stressful and emotional week for me. On Saturday night my dad came in from Texas with his wife and their kids. I knew that this visit was coming and I was fine with the idea of him being here but on Sunday morning when I actually saw him for the first time since I married (2 years ago) all the emotions came flooding back. I was a wreck. All I could do was cry. My situation with my dad is very hard for me. He did so much in the past that hurt me deeply and everytime I see him I am reminded of all the hurt he caused. The thing that irritates me the most about him being here is that I have overcome all the hurt that I had. I have come a long way in the last few years and I know that I have my Papa God who will never leave me. I know this deep down but it feels that when my dad is around, I take steps back and I let him get to me. It's like I am back in that place again and I am hurt all over again.

During worship on Sunday, a poem came to my mind that I as sure you all know. It was the "Footprints in the Sand". While I think this poem is a little cheesy, it is exactly what I needed. During the time in my life when I was dealing with all the crap in my life, God really was carrying me through everything. I was reminded that even though my earthy dad wants nothing to do with me, my Heavenly Father wants nothing more than to spend time with me and hold me in His arms and tell me how much He loves me. This just overwhelmes me. He reminded me that I have overcome through Him. Even though things in the past still hurt a little and I still cry every now and then, that doesn't mean I am still in that place. It just means I am human. I have emotions.

Just like the poem, when I look back on my life and see that there is only one set of footprints, it's not because God walked away from me, those are the times when he carried me through. When he was my strength when I was weak. I thank God everyday that He loves me so much. I pray that my dad would one day understand this love that God not only has for me but for him as well. I do hope that one day my dad and I can have a relationship. That we can reconnect. But until that time, I know that my God will be by my side always.

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

Waiting on Him.....

Recently in REAL68 girls discipleship we have been studying about Hannah and her struggles and triumphs in God. Last night was our final night and I really felt like it was a good one. The point of the final lesson was that God had turned things around for Hannah in the end because she had stayed faithful and had not tried to rush God or do things on her own. God blessed her with Samual and she kept to her promise and gave him back to the Lord. Even though I was teaching this lesson for middle school girls, I really felt like God was speaking to me.

Currently I am at a place in my life where I am waiting on God. I find myself continuously praying and asking but feel as though my prayers are unanswered. I have recently been feeling so discouraged. I know my God is great and He does answer our calls but it is so hard to wait on Him when you desire something so much it hurts. Everything inside me is trying to find a way around waiting patiently and just getting what I want but I know that blessing comes to those who wait and trust in Him. There was a verse that I read last night that gave me hope. Its 1 Samual 2:20-21 "Before they returned home, Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife and say, 'May the Lord give your other children to take the place of this one she gave to the Lord.' And the Lord gave Hannah three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile, Samual grew up in the presence of the Lord" Hannah had waited years and years for her son Samual but never lost faith in the Lord. She continuosly prayed and sought after Him knowing He was going to work things out. When she finally got what she had prayed for she kept to her promise and brought him back to the temple to live. Hannah waited paitently for the Lord to work and because of it, she was blessed even more in the end.

I want to be like Hannah. I need to trust in the Lord and patiently wait for Him to move. I know he will and I know that when he does it will be amazing. He makes all things work together for my good and I trust in Him.

Tattoo....Socks?

Okay, so my good freind Brittlee introduced me to these and I think they are the greatest. I will definetly be ordering some very soon. Make fun of me if you like but I love them.

"But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will seperate the people as a shepherd separtates the sheep from the goats. He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.'

"Then these righteous ones will reply, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?'

"And the King will say, I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!'

"Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, 'Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. For I was hungry, and you didn't feed me. I was thristy, and you didn't give me a drink. I was a stranger, and you didn't invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn't give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and ou didn't visit me.'

Then they will reply, 'Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?'

"And he will answer, 'I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.'

"And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life."

Recently, it seems as though God has been giving me reminders of passions and disires He placed in my heart years ago. Through various people and organizations, He has been tugging at my heart. Breaking is again for the lost and hurting. I remember just a few short years ago, I was continuosly burdened with compassion for the broken. The ones that were in poverty, had no hope, and had no Jesus. I knew then that my life needed to be dedicated to helping in any way I could. Whether that meant bringing awareness or going to those places myself. I remember thinking that I didn't care what I needed to do or what I had to live without, I was going to be Jesus hands and feet. Over a course of time, I began to forget the dreams and started to live in "reality". I still cared but I needed to start thinking about rent, gas food and other bills. I didn't have time to help. I could give money and pray but I was too busy to give my time. But thankfuly my God loves me too much to let me forget.

About 2 months ago I overheard two people talking about how they believe that God didn't want them to be "burdened" with the problems of this world. God wanted them to care and have compassion but being burdened was not part of it. I began to think about this and this conversation has been playing over and over in my head. Is it true that God does not want us to be burdened? Yes, God asks us to cast our burdens on Him but I also feel that if we were never burdened with compassion then, nothing would ever get change. The people in the past (and present) that are making a change started doing so because they were burdened. They so bothered by the issue and they had so much love for the ones in need that they wouldn't just stand by and watch. The did something. I think that there are things we get burdened with that we shouldn't be (finances, stress, etc) but I think that being burdened with compassion towards the broken is okay. We can take that burden to God and he will help us to help others. I may be wrong in saying any of this but its how I feel.

With all of that said God has begun to re-awaken something inside of me. A dream and desire to be the change. Last night, with tears in my eyes, I expressed to my husband how I felt. How I was tired of being a by stander and I was ready to take a stand and help in any way I could. I thank God for him because at that moment he took my hands and told me that he was waiting for this day to come. He knew when he married me that I had these dreams and he was waiting for the time that I would come to him and tell him my plan. Then he continued to tell me that whatever it was that I decided to do, he would be there to support me 100% no matter what it was. He knew this is a God-given passion and he wasn't going to stand in the way. I love him so much. I thank God for all he has been speaking to me and for what I know He is going to do through me in the future. And also for the other amazing people who are so inspiring to me. (Amanda, Laurie, Sara and most of all my mom). This Thanksgiving I have so much to be thankful for.

The Beginning of Fall

It used to be that I would dread the arrival of fall because that only meant the snow was about to come but it seems that this year I am so excited for it's arrival. The excitement of scarfs, sweater, hoodies and boots. I just wish the weather would realize that it is fall and we should not be enduring 90 degree weather at this time of year. Besides the weather, things have been great! We have been keeping busy with church, work and family. Our vacation was awesome and greatly needed. I finally started running again yesterday after a 2 week break. ( I did not run on vacation and the week we got back I was sick). I am enjoying the season of life we are in now. Everything seems to be falling into place and while I know that seasons come and go, I am really enjoying the one we are in now.

Mission: 5K

So recently Brandon and I have been noticeing that we are no longer in shape and have made the desicion to start working out and eating betther. We feel that we are way too young to be feeling the way we do now. I know myself all too well to know that if I do not set a goal then I will work out for maybe 2 days and then get tired of it and quit, so I set a goal. My goal is to run a 5K (3.125 miles) by November of this year. Running for me was always a time for me when I could do a lot of thinking by myself and release some stress, on the few occasions I did run. I found this great app on my iphone called Couch to 5K and started the program this morning bright and early at 5AM (which isn't really bright). It was really hard to wake up but once I actually got out of bed and got myself and Bronx ready to go, it was very nice and I enjoyed it! For someone more fit than me, my 30 minutes of walking and jogging would have been a walk in the park but for me (who hasn't worked out since high school) it was harder than I thought. I am really excited about this and I hope to complete my goal. Brandon has been a big support. Now I need to actually find a 5K to run. Any suggestions?

Life has been going great! Summer is here and we both are ready to welcome it back. We have a busy summer ahead of us and then our first vacation with just the 2 of us since our honeymoon. I can't believe that we will have been married for 1 year in just 2 short weeks. This past year has been so amazing but feels like it has gone by so fast. Not only do we have our anniversary coming up next month but we also will be celebrating both of our birthdays as well. Brandon will be 25 and I will be 23. Right now I don't really have any complaints about life. God has been speaking some amazing things to both of us and we have been truly blessed through this past year. I am so excited to see all the things He has spoken to us fulfilled. It's going to be amazing!