Footprints In The Sand

This week has been a very stressful and emotional week for me. On Saturday night my dad came in from Texas with his wife and their kids. I knew that this visit was coming and I was fine with the idea of him being here but on Sunday morning when I actually saw him for the first time since I married (2 years ago) all the emotions came flooding back. I was a wreck. All I could do was cry. My situation with my dad is very hard for me. He did so much in the past that hurt me deeply and everytime I see him I am reminded of all the hurt he caused. The thing that irritates me the most about him being here is that I have overcome all the hurt that I had. I have come a long way in the last few years and I know that I have my Papa God who will never leave me. I know this deep down but it feels that when my dad is around, I take steps back and I let him get to me. It's like I am back in that place again and I am hurt all over again.

During worship on Sunday, a poem came to my mind that I as sure you all know. It was the "Footprints in the Sand". While I think this poem is a little cheesy, it is exactly what I needed. During the time in my life when I was dealing with all the crap in my life, God really was carrying me through everything. I was reminded that even though my earthy dad wants nothing to do with me, my Heavenly Father wants nothing more than to spend time with me and hold me in His arms and tell me how much He loves me. This just overwhelmes me. He reminded me that I have overcome through Him. Even though things in the past still hurt a little and I still cry every now and then, that doesn't mean I am still in that place. It just means I am human. I have emotions.

Just like the poem, when I look back on my life and see that there is only one set of footprints, it's not because God walked away from me, those are the times when he carried me through. When he was my strength when I was weak. I thank God everyday that He loves me so much. I pray that my dad would one day understand this love that God not only has for me but for him as well. I do hope that one day my dad and I can have a relationship. That we can reconnect. But until that time, I know that my God will be by my side always.

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."