Restful Renewing

I find myself in a place that i haven't been in a long time.  A season that has long been forgotten.  For several years i have been consistently serving in ministry right along side Brandon.  We have done it all together.  Wednesday night services, meetings, camps, retreats, events,etc.  My life was so busy pouring into others and doing "ministry" that I allowed myself to slowly slip into a place of spiritual emptiness.  At the end of that season I had nothing left to give.  I had begun to put ministry and the call on my life above spending time with the One who placed the call on my life in the first place.  I was giving out more and more and not returning to the well for refilling.  I was trying to survive on old manna.  My foundation was cracking and then my world began to shake.

A little over a year ago, God called our family to South Carolina to take part in a church plant with some friends of ours.  I was excited for the things God had for us here and was ready for a change.  After moving here though I found myself in a place of questioning God.  Asking him why he brought us here.  What was the point?  It didn't look the way I was used to.  Everything was different and I wasn't okay with it.  What I should have done was seek the Lord for peace and guidance but what I did was again turned to busying myself with ministry.  I quickly jumped into the lifestyle that had already left my empty.  Not only that but I was doing it all without a clear vision.  I was doing it just to do it because it was comfortable.  At the time it was my safe place.  A sense of security in a time total transition.  But through it all I still had an unsettling feeling.  Like I was wandering through the desert without any direction and I was miserable.  Thank God that even in that place he was still willing to meet with me.  He was reaching out but I was refusing come close.  Instead of embracing the changes he was presenting me with I clung to what I had left behind in Colorado.  That was truly home and this place was just a temporary living arrangement.  I began to become discontent and I distanced myself from all the people God had surrounded us with.  I had hardened my heart to anything they would try to say or do for us.  They were are just weird and different in my mind so therefore I wasn't going to allow them to speak anything into my heart.  And still, God kept tugging and I kept pushing back.

Last weekend I had the opportunity to attend a women's retreat.  I really didn't want to go but my friend Carolyn insisted that I go, so with a sigh I agreed.  Before going I had resolved in my mind that there was nothing these women could teach me.  Looking back I had actually hardened my heart to anything that God wanted to do in me that weekend.   Praise God that He loves me enough to not let that happen.  He quickly softened my heart and met me in the place of worship.  He ministered to me and breathed new life into my empty soul. He showed me that I was hanging on to the past.  I needed to let go and allow him to work in this new season.  There are great things he has planned in my life but right now he needs me here to teach me.  To speak new vision and refine my calling.  In the busyness I had brought to my life I had lost sight of the importance of the restful, quiet times when God would speak to my heart.  In His complete goodness and love for me, he has brought me back to that place.  In the times when I felt abandoned he never left.  The truth was that I had walked away from that place but He never did.  He was there all along calling out and patiently waiting for me to return.

I truly believe that this season is my season of restful renewing.  This morning I was doing my bible study and this verse stuck out to me.  Almost like God has written it just for me in that moment for this time.

Matthew 11:28-30 "Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you.  LET ME TEACH YOU because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light."

In my quiet time I could hear the voice of God speak to my heart. "Jacqueline, come to me.  Rest in me.  Allow me to give you new life.  Let me teach you!  I want to grow you.  I have a great plan for you.  Come and reconnect with me!"  My heart was overwhelmed.  I knew it was a word straight from God. He was calling me back to the secret place.  He had never left but had been waiting for me this whole time.  I know that God has a big plan for my life and I have a call to ministry and to lead. He wants to build me.  He was calling out and now I am answering.  I am choosing to take this time to rest in the Lord.  To allow him to fill my cup to overflowing.  He has my future planned out.  I am thankful for the past and all that it brought and I am looking forward to the future but right now my heart is content to rest!

Complaining in the Wilderness

^{Exodus 15:22-27}

²² Then Moses led Israel from the Red Sea and they went into the Desert of Shur. For three days they traveled in the desert without finding water. ²³ When they came to Marah, they could not drink its water because it was bitter. (That is why the place is called Marah.^[a])²⁴ So the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What are we to drink?”

²⁵ Then Moses cried out to the Lord, and the Lord showed him a piece of wood. He threw it into the water, and the water became fit to drink.

There the Lord issued a ruling and instruction for them and put them to the test. ²⁶ He said, “If you listen carefully to the Lord your God and do what is right in his eyes, if you pay attention to his commands and keep all his decrees, I will not bring on you any of the diseases I brought on the Egyptians, for I am the Lord, who heals you.”

²⁷ Then they came to Elim, where there were twelve springs and seventy palm trees, and they camped there near the water. 

Yesterday I read Exodus 15:22-27 and God spoke some things to me that I wanted to make sure to write down and share.  To preface this passage, the Israelites had just escaped the Egyptians, crossed the Red Sea and watched as God defeated their enemies.  Moses led them in praise to God and now they have been wandering in the desert for three days.  They haven't found water and naturally they are all thirsty.  After three days they come across an oasis in Marah but the water was too bitter to drink. And with the same mouths they had just praised God with, they began to complain.  The Bible says that they "grumbled against Moses".  Moses, instead of turning against those he was leading or complaining to God he simply came to God with a request.  This is the first "nugget" that God showed me.  God doesn't want us to come to him with complaints but simply with our requests.  All he wants is for us to ask.  Jude is only 15 months and he is starting to learn how to communicate with us.  This is a frustrating task for both him and I because he knows what he wants but lacks the vocabulary to voice it.  He often resorts to screaming at me not only out of frustration but also in hopes that I will understand what he needs.  I have been working with him on words and signs for things so that he can better communicate his needs to me without constantly screaming.  I feel like that is the place I sometimes find myself with God.  Instead of communicating what my needs are I resort to complaining.  Just like the Israelites did when they found themselves in need of drinkable water.  But Moses came before God on their behalf and made the request known.  "What are we to drink?"  That leads me to the second nugget.  Simply ask God.  He does care and he does hear our requests.  He answered Moses and told him to throw the piece of wood in the water and it would become fit to drink.  God answered and the people had water to drink.  In verse 27 we see that they were later led to and oasis in Elim where there was plenty of water and resting places for the whole group.  This is the final point.  God will answer.  I truly don't believe that God wanted his people to die of thirst.  He was willing and ready to answer he just needed them to ask.  God provided for his people then and he continues to do so today.  God wants to answer we just have to stop complaining and start asking.

The New Adventures of Peanut Butter & Jelly

In case some of you don't already know, we MOVED!!!!!  We've been here for almost 2 weeks now and I just feel so blessed.  A lot has been going on and in every situation we have seen God move.  When we arrived here two weeks ago with an amazing town home in a beautiful area and without jobs.  Thankfully God is watching over us.  He provided a job for Brandon with a landscaping company and I got a job as a nanny for a little girl who is 1 month older than Jude.  Brandon started his job this past Monday and he seems to enjoy it.  He works Monday thru Friday from 7 to 4.  It's only a mile from our house so I take him to work in the morning and pick him up when he gets off.  It's been nice to have him home at 4.  It makes my days seem shorter and we still have time to spend together as a family.  I start my new job on Monday.  I will work Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday from 7:30 to 5:30.  It's for one little girl and her parents are bringing her to my house so I can stay at home with Jude.  I couldn't ask for anything better.

My mom was here for our first week and a half.  It was so amazing to have her around.  I feel like it made my transition so much easier.  She was a huge help with Jude and having her here allowed Brandon and me to unpack a lot faster than if we had to watch Jude as well.  We went on so many adventures while she was here.  We explored all of Downtown Charleston, went to the aquarium, saw Old Town Mt. Pleasant, checked out the local beaches and ate at a few local seafood places.  Having her here was great but it was so hard to say goodbye.  Her leaving really made our move more of a reality to me.

Things with the church are going great.  We are having our first Easter Service this Sunday and we are all very excited.  I have been planning some fun activities for the children's ministry.  It's going to be so much fun.  The families at the church have been so welcoming to us.  I am so excited to see what God is going to do through Declaration Church.  I truly feel so blessed and honored to be apart of what God is doing in Mt Pleasant.  Hopefully I will be able to keep you all updated.  Thank goodness for Facebook, Blogger and Instagram!

While I didn't vote for the guy who won nor do I agree with a lot of what he plans to do, my heart is saddened by those around me who have had nothing but negative things to say.  I don't agree with what our new President has planned or with what he has done in the past.  I don't know if we can truly stand on what President Obama promises but I do know, without a doubt, that I can stand on what God's word says.  His word tells us that we are to honor those that are in authority even when we don't "like" them or we didn't vote for them.  God also tells us that no matter who is chosen as leader of our great nation, God is leader over all.  He is in control of everything.  He watches over and protects His people.  We just need to trust Him and seek His will.  Even when the world around us seems hopeless and all seems lost, God can still move.  2 Chronicles 7:14 says, "Then if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land."  As His people, if we continue to pray and pursue Him, God can move in our country.  Even when our leaders do things that don't seem right, that doesn't mean that God can't change their hearts and use them for His glory.  As believers, we are supposed to pray for others, especially our leaders.  1 Timothy 2:1-4 says, "I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people.  Ask God to help them: intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them.  Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity.  This is good and pleases God our savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to understand the truth".  I don't know for sure whether President Obama is a God-Fearing man, but I do know that the last thing he needs is more people against him.  What he does need is more of God's people rising up in prayer for him and his family.  Praying that he would allow God to guide his path as he leads our entire country.  So rather than complain about an outcome that I have no control over, I am going to do the one thing that I can do.  I am going to continue to pray and trust that God knows what He is doing.  He is in control and He is the one I trust in.

Psalms 91:2 "This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God and I trust Him."

Over the last month God has really shown me how much he watches over us.  He has blessed us so much in that last month and as each day passes I can see how each step of His plan has been so perfectly put together.  I am so amazed by His love.  

In the last month we have moved out of our townhouse and in with Brandon's parents.  We are planning on moving to South Carolina in March and so now we are kind of in a waiting phase.  The slow pace is very nice right now.  It has been such a blessing to really be able to spend time with our families and each other.  My older sister Stefanie and niece Randi are in town from Saudi Arabia and I have just been enjoying every moment with them.  I can't wait for the next chapter God has for our family but at the same time I am just enjoying the place we are in now.  

Jude is getting so big.  On Thursday my little guy is going to be 6 months old!  I am still in awe that he is actually here.  This month we have gone to the aquarium twice and a pumpkin patch for the first time as well as the Zoo.  Jude also got to celebrate his first halloween.  Our family dressed as monkeys and we attended the Family Fun Night.  It was so much fun.  I feel so honored that God has entrusted me with such an amazing little boy.  He such a blessing and I can't imagine what my life would be like without him.

The Adventure is Moving South

We are moving!!!!  It's official.  In March we will be moving out little family across the country to Mount Pleasant, SC.  Some very good friends of ours came to us a few months ago and asked if we would pray about moving with them to start a church.  I admit that at first I just said no thank you and didn't even give it much thought but after a long month of prayer I knew God was calling our family to move.  It's always amazing to me how God moves.  Once I finally told God I was willing to go he really began to make things happen.  Our lease on our town home wasn't up until February but literally 3 days after telling God I would go, an old family friend said he was interested in it.  They are now moving into our town home today allowing Brandon, Jude and me to move in with his family for a few months to save money and pay off some debt before we move.  Along with all the moving we have been doing over the past month, Brandon resigned from his position at the High School Youth Pastor at  The Rock.  He preached his last message on Wednesday and then next week will be our very last Wednesday.  It's hard to say goodbye to the students that we love so very much.  They mean so much to us.  We have been apart of this youth ministry since we were students ourselves.  It's a bittersweet feeling.  I am sad to go and leave everything behind but I am also very excited for all that God is going to do in our family and in the people of Mount Pleasant.  In Isaiah 43:18 & 19 it says, "But forget all that - it is nothing compared to what I am going do.  For I am about to do something new.  See, I have already begun!  Do you not see it?  I will make a pathway through the wilderness.  I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."  I know that God is starting to do something amazing.  I have already seen God move in our lives in so many ways.  The hard part is learning to trust him when it starts to get hard.  To continue to pursue Him and His plan for us when all I can see is what we are leaving behind.  I know he has great plans for our family.  This transition has really challenged me to spend more time with God and to really seek His face.  I am so excited to see God move and to see his plan unfold as we take each step.

Our little guy is already 2 months old and is getting bigger everyday!  In the last month he has had a lot of first time adventures.  He went to Estes Park with us for youth camp, has been to the Melting Pot and has been to his first Rockies game with his friend Madison.  There have been some not so fun firsts too like getting pink eye for the first time.  He is starting to talk a lot more and for being a little guy he sure does have a lot to say.  He definitely keeps me busy throughout the day.  At his 2 month check-up he weighed 12 pounds and was 24 inches long.

As for me, I am enjoying my last week and a half before I go back to work.  It has been great having the whole summer off and I have enjoyed every minute I got to spend with Jude.  The good thing is that I am nannying for some really good friends of our and Jude gets to go with me so I won't have to leave him with anyone.  Looking back to where we were just a year ago I can't help but feel so blessed by everything that God has done for our family.  We have gone through tremendous change in a year.  Sometimes it was scary and sometime it was fun but God took care of us each step of the way.  It makes me so excited for all the changes that God will have for us in the future!